To The Editor:
This is an open letter to Sen. Brian Nieves.
I would like to congratulate you and your esteemed colleagues. According to the U.S Department of Agriculture’s report on food security Missouri has No. 1 status in the nation in hunger.
Since Missouri is No. 1 in methamphetamine production, I am certain this came as no surprise to the Legislature in Jefferson City.
While I can understand that you have been very busy auctioning semiautomatic firearms, selling used automobiles, and hosting a talk radio show that is heard by tons of people in the area, I believe that you and your esteemed colleagues in the Missouri Legislature could help assist Missouri in acquiring more No. 1 ratings in the country.
Could I suggest possibly No. 1 ratings in infant mortality, child slavery, high school dropout rate, illiteracy, teen pregnancy, obesity, minimum wage jobs, and suicide?
While West Virginia holds most of the No. 1 ratings in these areas, I know that you and your esteemed colleagues will do everything in your power to see that we topple West Virginia in as many of these categories as possible.
In closing, I want to commend you as a hard-working public servant. I realize that your groundbreaking legislation concerning English-only in courtrooms and parking privileges on the Capitol grounds are timeconsuming. I only ask that you give your best in ensuring that Missouri remains No. 1 in as many facets of life as possible.
Damon D. Gilbert