What’s the Matter With This County?

To The Editor:

How crazy is Franklin County? Pretty darn crazy.

Todd Akin, the guy who thinks women have magic lady parts that secrete a chemical toxin that kills off rape sperm whenever there has been a, ahem, “legitimate rape,” drew nearly 46 percent of the county vote.

Akin would have handily bested Sen. Claire McCaskill’s 47 percent if not for one Jonathan Dine, the anti-government Libertarian candidate who got almost 7 percent of the vote.

So who is Jonathan Dine? Well, let’s start with the giant marijuana leaf he likes to draw on his chest with a Sharpie. His most recent felony conviction is for growing pot in his apartment. He was convicted of identity theft in 2005, and has about a dozen traffic violations, mostly DWI convictions in 2011. Seven percent of Franklin Countians thought this guy would make a better U.S. senator than McCaskill. Classy, eh?

I don’t know which is saddest about our county, the fact that 46 percent of voters voted for an anti-science screwball like Akin over a relatively harmless stoner like Dine (Dine is somehow the radical here), or the fact that nearly 53 percent voted against McCaskill, the only sane one of the bunch.

Seriously, what’s the matter with Franklin County? People here are nuts.

Thank goodness the rest of the state came to its senses and voted to re-elect McCaskill by a margin of 15 points.