Quote of the week: “There are no bad ideas. Only ideas that go horribly wrong.” – Jack Donaghy

Last week, a social media post asked readers to comment their impulsive buys that they immediately regretted using the hashtag #purchaseregrets.

On Twitter, @ethanbusse wrote: “Once, I accidentally bought a $20 lotto ticket. I told them the wrong number or something and didn’t realize it till I got outside.

“I lucked out and won $50 on it, somehow, then immediately cashed it in and haven’t bought a ticket since!”

On Facebook, Stephanie F. wrote “Black Friday sales, eek! I buy two of everything and things I don’t need because the prices are so good!”

Thank you to those who commented!

It must be robotic call season. I’ve been getting calls on my cell at least three times a day that feature robotic messages. No matter how many times I block them, a new number is created.

The automated message starts out “Do not hang up.” That’s like teaching your dog not to bark when someone knocks on the door. No matter how many times you train Buster, he will also try to bark.

What is the purpose of the automatic calls? Well, the message continues with “Do you have neck or back pain?”

Why is a robot asking if I have neck or back pain when robots can’t comprehend emotions or feelings?

That’s like trying to give your dog Buster English lessons so he can explain why he barks every time the doorbell rings.

Another automated message on my voicemail said “If you want to opt out of these calls press 1 now.”

Thank you so much for calling me so I can opt out of a phone message I never signed up for or inquired about to begin with.

That’s like having Buster teach other dogs English when he never learned to speak English because he’s a dog.

The weirdest automated message comes from legitimate places, but use them to let people know about appointments. My friend told me an experience where a robot named Amy calls patients to remind them when eye appointments are and when their glasses are ready for pickup.

“Hello, this is Amy ...” starts the message, according to my friend.

Why does the robot have a name? I understand robots, like the Amazon Echo named Alexa, and the iPhone computer is named Siri, but this would confuse patients.

What if there is an actual receptionist there named Amy?

“My, your voice sounds different on the phone,” I imagine patients telling this to the fictional receptionist also named Amy.

Patient: “Do you remember our long and drawn-out conversation we had regarding my appointment change, Amy?”

Amy: “Hmm ... I think you were talking to my robot counterpart.”

Patient: “ ... So it is true. Robots have taken over the world.”

I hope you enjoyed reading my odd column this week. Happy Wednesday!