Keeping Up With Jones - The Missourian: Opinion

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Keeping Up With Jones

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Posted: Wednesday, August 8, 2012 12:15 pm | Updated: 7:17 pm, Sat Jun 22, 2013.

I am not immune to Olympic fever.

I don’t watch every minute of it, but I have noticed myself getting caught up in some of the events.

During swimming events I have had my fingers crossed as the American racers paddle to the finish line (which is very appropriately named if someone from Finland were to win).

I get a little anxious while watching the swimming events, not for fear that the U.S. Olympians will lose, but because I really want to see these guys take a breath. I try to hold my breath along with the swimmers and it seems like I have to get some oxygen five minutes before they resurface.

Other than swimming, I have caught some gymnastics, which is really kind of boring. It was great to see the U.S. women’s team win the team gold medal, but that was about all that I watched.

I have never been interested in gymnastics. It is probably for the best that I missed events like the trampoline, which I believe conflicted with a Cardinals game.

The Chinese gold medalist for that event is named Dong Dong. I am not mature enough to watch something like that.

In fact, I shouldn’t be writing about it at all and I am probably treading in some risky territory.

One event that I have been able to catch is the diving. The only thing that I have taken from that is I can never be a judge for those events.

I watch the divers enter the water and think, “Wow, that was a huge splash. That will cost her.” And then the crowd erupts and the diver gets 9.5 and 10 scores.

Then the next diver gets up and plunges into the pool and I think, “That was a great dive!” Then the commentator says, “Ouch! That wasn’t very good.”

Since I only get to see these events every four years, I can’t get a grasp of the scoring and become more educated to what is a total flop compared to a great show.

The same goes for contests like the uneven bars. I watched the women fly through the air and then land with what appears to be a stumble, and I think, “Uh oh.” But then the girl is shown smiling and shedding tears of joy because she got a bunch of high scores.

Tennis is one of the events that I actually turned off. I have never been a tennis fan, and that is something that clogs up the television too often anyway. There are several weekends that I can turn the channel to ESPN and fall asleep as grown men and women grunt, slap at a ball and sometimes throw a temper tantrum.

I also don’t care much for dressage. That to me is a sport for rich people to sit on their duffs, as the horse does all of the work. But even the horse seem pretentious as it trots onto the world stage.

To me, the dressage event is not at all exciting. Maybe if they were to incorporate that event with another, like the 100-meter butterfly, fencing, or handball, it could be a bit more interesting.

/opinion