Keeping Up With Jones - The Missourian: Opinion

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Keeping Up With Jones

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Posted: Wednesday, September 5, 2012 4:45 pm | Updated: 9:18 pm, Sat Jun 22, 2013.

When reality shows first made waves on television, there were just a handful of programs with fresh formats.

The first hits were shows like “Cops,” which paved the way for shows like “Real World” on MTV, and then “Survivor.” The latter offered entertainment in the form of a social experiment.

Now there is a new age of reality shows.

I know this because the shows are repeated weekend mornings when I should be sleeping, but instead my subconscious takes over and I have the strong desire to watch shows about the drama at old storage units and shipping angry bulls cross country.

The reality shows that I have been watching lately focus on people’s employment and some form of conflict or battle.

There is “Shipping Wars” which features people who move interesting items on their trailers, or in their vans or trucks throughout the country.

Apparently there has been a war declared among these shippers because they mostly bicker and complain about each other.

Then there is the “Storage Wars” which pits people who have resale shops against each other in an all-out war to purchase somebody else’s old stuff. It could be worth something, but it also could be a bunch of out-of-date clothes infested with spiders.

The titles that feature “wars” or “hunters” depict how dangerous it really is buying worthless junk and driving a truck.

There is another show that gives insight into the lives of people in other areas of the country, like “Swamp People” which I haven’t watched but I assume it’s about people who are green and slimy.

There also is “Duck Dynasty” which showcases a Louisiana family who has made millions of dollars selling duck calls. I can relate to this show because they are just like me. Other than the money, the ducks, the beards. . . I guess I am nothing like them.

A show that I imagine will be similar to that is “American Hoggers” which previews show will be about a hog hunting family in Texas.

Are there many children who grow up with the dream of making it big in the hog hunting business?

Which reminds me of a couple of trends in reality TV today — using the name “American” in the title like “American Pickers.” Is that so there is no confusion as to where this show takes place, or is it to get more viewers from the patriotic set who will watch anything with the name “American” in the title.

That brings me to another group of shows that I wouldn’t normally watch — train wreck reality.

These shows make me glad that my reality is not the same as the people in the shows like “Beverly Hills Nannies,” “Toddlers and Tiaras” and that show’s spin off “Here Comes Honey Boo Boo.”

Unfortunately, I have seen all of these. And even worse, I have been drawn into them. I am not a regular viewer, but if Jami is watching these shows I have to watch in awe.

The worst of these has to be “Here Comes Honey Boo Boo.” I can’t understand how the events in the show happen.

There have been investigations into the family for a few reasons, including serving children road kill.

Honey Boo Boo, whose father is called Sugar Bear, is a child pageant girl. Before the pageants her mother serves the 6-year-old “Go Go Juice,” a cocktail of Mountain Dew and Red Bull.

I think my heart would explode if I drank that, so I doubt that would be very safe for a small child.

I could only imagine the look I would get if I ordered that at a restaurant. I guess the standards are much lower at children’s beauty pageants.

There could be some creative combinations that would make many of the reality shows more palatable.

Instead of a show like “Ghost Hunters” how about “Beverly Hills Nannies Hunters?”

Or even better, “American Toddlers and Tiaras Wars.” A show like this would probably get a lot of attention in Vegas. My bet would always be with the girl on Go Go Juice who just filled up on armadillo.

/opinion