Keeping Up With Jones - The Missourian: Union News

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Keeping Up With Jones

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Posted: Wednesday, October 24, 2012 1:30 pm | Updated: 9:03 am, Wed May 15, 2013.

I know that high school can be a challenging time when teens try to figure themselves out, and adapt to a weird age.

That is how I am rationalizing what I overheard earlier this week as I waited to snap a photo.

There was one high school age boy who asked another boy a question. I am not quite certain what the subject was, so to keep this simple, they were talking about sandwiches.

The first student had lost his sub sandwich, and he wanted some help locating it.

“Hey, dude. Have you seen my sandwich, bro?”

There are a few problems with this sentence. The first of which, is that “dude” is outdated.

“Dude” has a long history. It has been used since the late 1800s and meant something similar to a “dandy.”

For more than 130 years, “dude” has made its rounds and been incorporated into popular culture.

In my opinion, the word should have never survived “Bill and Ted’s Excellent Adventure,” in 1989.

Nor should it have made it out of the 1990s when people like Pauly Shore used it too often.

And after Ashton Kutcher got a hold of it in 2000 in the movie “Dude, Where’s My Car,” the phrase should have been made illegal.

The only acceptable, and still cool form of “Dude” is “The Dude” from the movie “The Big Lebowski.”

A second — and much more serious — issue with the student’s statement is the use of the word “bro.”

The word is obviously short for brother, but in the past 10 or so years, the word has gotten too much play and taken on a life of its own.

Variations, like “brah,” which was first used by surfers, have become immersed in popular culture and are closely linked to fraternity houses and other places where there are too many men and not enough women.

Bro also morphed to these colorful plays on words: “Broseph,” “Abroham,” “Jumpin’ Brohosaphat,” or “Broman Polanksky.”

Back to the high school student.

When you look at the entire statement, there is a glaring error. He used “bro” and “dude.” Pick one, man.

I understand that teens are searching for their identity, but don’t search for it all in one sentence.

Both “dude and “bro” are filler words, so I can’t blame the kid for the use of one. Two is too much though.

In fact, I use the term, “man” a lot. Probably too much.

Man, much like dude or bro, can be used in a variety of situations.

For example, “Hey, man, don’t eat my burrito!” Or even, “Man, that was a terrible baseball game.”

I’d like to reach out to the kid, but I don’t want to embarrass him.

So, man, if you are reading this, dude, chill out with all of the filler words and you will eventually discover what it is that makes you an individual, Brofessor.

But in his defense, the dude probably had a lot on his melon when he lost his grindage to munch on.

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