Keeping Up With Jones - The Missourian: Union

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Keeping Up With Jones

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Posted: Wednesday, September 25, 2013 4:27 pm

So,  I am laying in bed Monday night watching a recorded episode of the hit television show “Dancing With the Stars...”I never thought I would make that statement,  but yeah,  it’s true.

I watched this show because I am married. That isn’t an excuse,  just a fact.

Knowing that I would fall asleep shortly after my head hit the pillow,  I conceded to my wife’s wishes and I didn’t object to her watching the pseudo-celebrities mamboing,  or waltzing,  or twerking with some person who is just a little less famous than they are.

It was no big deal. I didn’t need to watch Peyton Manning on the Monday night stage on a quest for a record-breaking season.

I didn’t need to watch another episode of “The Daily Show, ” I mean it is on daily (except for weekends).

So,  as I am laying in bed watching “Dancing With the Stars” — that’s twice I’ve said that now — I am wondering why there aren’t more reality shows about normal people and their different skills and occupations.

There are singing shows where people compete to be the next best singer,  and other dancing shows in which dancers try to out dance other dancers and then win a trophy,  or something.

I really don’t know what they win on these shows. I’m new at watching this stuff,  bear with me.

What I would really like to see is people competing,  on live television,  to be the best bank teller they can be,  or the best sanitation engineer this side of the Mississippi.Sure,  dancing is great,  I don’t necessarily dance much (ever),  but people seem to enjoy it.

But it doesn’t provide a service to others. I’d like to see reality shows based on people working in the front lines with the general public

.I would enjoy a show that people compete to be the best waiter.

There could be weekly competition that could range from presenting the daily specials,  or water pouring,  plate clearing and taking drink orders.The show could chronicle the lives of the competitors who have worked at small diners,  Denny’s or Olive Gardens throughout the country.

Even better would be celebrity waiter. Of course this couldn’t be at a real restaurant because many celebrities (not the “Dancing With the Stars” celebrities) are easily recognized.Not to mention some clumsy celeb might spill water down a grandmother’s back,  or a plate of spaghetti in some kid’s lap.

This show would have to be on a closed set with professional waiter judges determining who performs the best.

Here’s another idea: “Celebrity DMV.”

It would be great to see how some famous actors or athletes would handle the stress of people screaming at them because the state requires seven pieces of identification and the blood of their firstborn child to get a permit.

These are shows that I would admit to watching.It would be a lot easier to say,  “I was laying in bed watching watched ‘The License Office With the Stars’ ” instead of,  well,  you know.

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